As our parents age, the responsibility of ensuring their safety and care often falls on family members. This can be a challenging task, particularly when family conflicts arise. In many cases, siblings can share the burden of attending to a parent's needs in declining health. However, for the only child, this responsibility can be overwhelming, as they may have no one else to rely on.
That can be a lot to bear if the adult child lives a few states away. I like to give clients steps to take to ensure they don’t get overwhelmed. The first thing is to ensure that parents’ finances are secure from any spam or unnecessary spending habits that can reduce their much-needed savings for care. Part of ensuring their savings is safe is having the right legal authority to do that, such as a well-drafted power of attorney.
Secondly, ensuring that the adult child can effectively communicate with doctors and other healthcare professionals about any medical diagnoses, medications, treatments, etc. is crucial. This is where a healthcare power of attorney can be a powerful tool, giving the adult child the confidence and authority to make informed medical decisions on behalf of their aging parent.
While caring for aging parents can be overwhelming, particularly for those living outside the state, it’s important to remember that addressing one issue at a time can provide a sense of control and relief. Whether it's securing at-home care like Seniors Helping Seniors or managing day-to-day tasks, taking a step-by-step approach can help adult children effectively manage their parents' care, empowering them to handle the situation.
Once the adult child gains a comprehensive understanding of their parent's medical needs and successfully manages their spending, the situation becomes more manageable. This knowledge can provide a profound sense of relief and a significant step towards effective care.
For anyone who is an only child or the only responsible adult child, facing the burden of a declining parent’s health can be daunting. However, it's crucial to remember that help is available, especially if you have no other family or the family you have is unwilling to share the burden. If this is your situation, remember these tips:
Resources exist to lighten your load. You need to find what is available in your aging parent’s area and use what you can. Don’t do it all by yourself. Most services cost, but some do not. For instance, you can hire a Placement Specialist if you need assistance finding an assisted living facility or memory care center. There is no cost to you, and it’s a tremendous help to have someone know your parent's needs and help you find a good community for them. Let us know if you need this service, as we work with excellent, trustworthy agencies.
Know your legal authority and use it. Sometimes, the adult children have never seen the documents on which they are appointed. You must exercise authority over finances to prevent improper spending or financial scams.
If you see the warning signs, such as out-of-control spending or depleting assets, and you feel helpless, get past that feeling. A lot can be done when you have a strategy in place and know your direction. It takes courage. Most only children can find that courage and are probably used to it.
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